Magic, I know.
Well, hello there. It’s been a while. I haven’t been keeping up with this blog because I am too occupied. I have a lot on my plate. I’ll tell you something about running your own business. It teaches you things. You grow in ways you never imagined. The more you get to know people, the more you understand yourself and in return understand others. I am relearning things about myself I did not know I needed to learn. You know how you re-watch an old show and recognize a script you didn’t recognize before? It’s kinda like that. It’s real easy to get caught up in what occupies you that you so easily forget what once made you feel well. I love writing and it’s been one of my favorite hobbies for as long as I remember. That hobby was shelved until recently. A friend of mine, who cultivates a great talent for writing herself, challenged me to pick it up again. So here I am. (On that note, I’ll be waiting for your book.)
I still pick up the pen every now and then. There’s something nostalgic about the way the ball of the pen hits the paper and suddenly ink appears. Magic. I know. What’s my point? Oh right, COVID. It’s a new world. A lot is going on. Come to think of it, a lot has always been going on. Things are magnified now because of technology or social media or whatever. You see when I was growing up, I had dial-up. I blinked and there came 5G. Magic. I know. What am I trying to say? Oh right, LIFE.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the sorrows and lose touch with the joys.
I recently learned something about myself. You know that “self-positivity talk” books are written about and walls are smeared in quotes with? Yeah. I have accessed the tool to change negative self-talk. Magic, I know. It took a lot of effort and determination to do so. But I guess that’s just the kind of human being I aspire to be. Someone better. Someone healthier. Someone calm and not threatening. Constantly self-improving. Well, guess what. It’s okay that I don’t wanna improve today. It’s okay that I just wanna be. That’s literally the definition of a human being. We should all just be and let things be. Things happen out of our control and frankly, without our consent, so who are we to lose something we never even had. I don’t think anyone is in control, really. What is control anyway. Wait, let me google this.
[googles]
control
/kənˈtrəʊl/
noun
the power to influence or direct people's behaviour or the course of events.
a person or thing used as a standard of comparison for checking the results of a survey or experiment.
verb
determine the behaviour or supervise the running of.
take into account (an extraneous factor that might affect the results of an experiment).
[contemplates]
Huh, well I guess someone is in control. Ok, i’ve come to a conclusion. It’s okay to lose control and be in control simultaneously. Balance is beautiful. :D
[welcomes reader to author’s sudden epiphany]
At the end of the day, I guess I am simply responsible for the way I feel and I will always have control over that. I have been easily overwhelming myself. One day I just realized, I don’t wanna overwhelm anymore. I just wanna whelm. You know? I have been dealing with panic attacks and anxiety attacks. Maybe it’s depression, maybe it’s a mental disorder. I don’t know. But here’s the interesting part. You’ll read things or hear things or see things, and they’ll just pass you like clouds. What will make sense to you, is what you never thought would. I mean, recognizing your realizations and accessing the tools to define the actions needed in line with that realization, is not easy - is what i’m trying to say. What you do with that realization, is well, magic - I know. I think it’s perfectly normal to get overwhelmed every now and then. I mean have you stopped for a second and realized how fast everything is going? Most things come to you at a touch of a button. Thanks, Apple Pay. So it’s on me to adapt to this new fast? My watch just ordered me to stand. No Apple Watch, YOU STAND! Anyways, I’m also learning to embrace the changes. After all, that is precisely what a Phoenix is about. Change. Transformation. Healing. So beautiful.
[end rant]
If you’re reading this and you know me, remind me occasionally that I need to keep this blog updated every now and then. Not just for myself, but for readers who maybe struggling with the same thing. Or for readers who still enjoy reading in a world that is now occupied with visual stimulation. Like how’s your attention span doing? Can your attention meter handle real life, anymore?! Which brings me to my point: I need that reminder because we all need to be reminded to do less occupying things and more joyful things. It’s so easy to get caught up in the sorrows and lose touch with the joys.
Now let’s get to the fun part, click for your song of the week:
